The Gastromaniacs

It’s been a while since we updated the site.  A lot has gone on.  Fortunes have been made, empires have fallen, and our focus has shifted.

I just popped by to take a look at this site, something I hadn’t done in quite some time.  I had forgotten how informative and fun it was.

That said, it’s time for some updates and come cleaning up, and we’ll get some new content coming again shortly.

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Black Widow Bakery

A meat cake. If only I had thought of this for my wedding.

I think James and I may have to give this a whirl next week.

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Image via WikipediaPoking about, I just came across a website dedicated to the hatred of cilantro.

Personally, I’m a big fan of cilantro, particularly when paired with citrus.  I know it takes all kinds to make the world go round and whatnot, but in reality, it seems like this guy has got way too much time on his hands.

It’s not like the world is going to stop using cilantro, one of the most common herbs in the world.  If you don’t like it, don’t eat it.

Weirdo.

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I was just winding down here, late Friday afternoon, and I find an article with this title:

Tetrapod Zoology : Traumatic anal intercourse with a pig

While it’s not exactly relevant to pig roasting, it may very well be the greatest title to an article I’ve seen this calendar year.

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I just swung by the recently opened Whole Foods in Glastonbury, CT.  The trip was theoretically to get some meat, but it’s always interesting to wander around that store.

I picked up 1/2 a pound of some $21.99 a pound Salami Toscano.   Just had a slice.  It’s divine.   Not the kind of salami I would make a sandwich out of, but in and of itself, it’s fantastic.

Cindy didn’t much like it, because it’s got a good amount of fat in it (um, it’s a salami….) and because she’s all PMSing.

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We’ve been remiss with our posting. In no particular order, we blame: general insanity, young kids, CrossFit, January slump, general winter doldrums, and overpriced mojitos.

We’ll be posting again effective immediately.

If you’re wondering, the password is….jalopy.

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It always amazes me when I watch people try to chop onions.  People either take about 15 minutes to chop an onion, or go so batshit crazy and have bad knife technique that they nearly take their own fingers off.

Lo and behold, here’s a quick primer on how to coarsely chop an onion.  If you follow this technique, you should be able to get your onion coarsely chopped in well under a minute, and do so in a highly repeatable manner.

• Step One: Get an Onion
• Step Two: Cut the top and the bottom off the onion, like so:

• Step Three: Make a vertical slit in the remaining onion peel, as shown below:

• Step Four: Peel the onion:

• Step Five: Cut the onion in half:

•  Step Six: Parallel to the line on which you just cut the onion in half, cut the half of the onion in half again.  For you math majors, this would be 1/2 of 1/2, or 1/4:

• Step Seven: Lay the onion down and make three to four cuts through the entire onion, with the grain:

• Step Eight: Rotate the onion 90 degrees (or a quarter turn, for those not geometrically inclined), and make another 3 to four cuts.  Take care to only cut the onion, and not to cut your fingers at this point:

• Step Nine: Repeat on the other half of the onion:

• Step Ten: JAZZ HANDS!  You’re done coarsely chopping an onion.

There’s not a lot to it, but if you master the above, you can adapt it to pretty much any onion need you may have – be it a fine dice or some largely chopped onions.  As I said above, this procedure is fast, efficient, and eminently repeatable.  I recommend you take some time to learn it, as if you cook with any kind of frequency, you’re going to cut an awful lot of onions before you’re pushing up daisies.

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In other news, the Gastromaniacs are a bit whipped after the holidays. We’ve all wrapped and unwrapped and cooked and endured and chatted and talked and avoided and gotten into it and out of it and in general done the proper holiday thing. Santa came and went. The kids went bonkers. Families got boozy. The rain came and began to wash away the snow. This morning I drove through Middlebury where dripping ice clung to the tops of the trees and bushes while down below the earth was damp and loamy. New England slush below and crystal above.

Back at Gastromaniacs HQ, we’re noticably beat. When I got here Will looked frazzled. Cindy seems to be hanging in there but even she didn’t want to go out tonight. That said, the Feast of Envy perhaps is beginning. We’d love to cook but we have no gas for it so we’ve ordered pho takeout and are wishing we could make it as good as they do, but we certainly can’t so what the hell.

In the meantime, beers for everyone and we hope you all had a great holiday.

Beware, tomorrow the Feast of Gluttony begins, as well a special guest feast or two.  One never can tell.

Turducken countdown begins Here.

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My hat is off to this guy.

A turkey, stuffed with a goose, stuffed with a barbary duck, stuffed with an aylesbury duck, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a guinea fowl, stuffed with a pheasant, stuffed with a mallard, stuffed with a pigeon squab, stuffed with a poussin, stuffed with a partridge, stuffed with a quail.

The turgooduckduckenguineapheasmallsquaboussinridgequal?

This guy is nuts.

50,000 calories, enough food for 125 people, or three NFL offensive linemen.

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James and I were just talking:

Will
6:19:35 PM I have something we need to try for an app
6:19:46 PM bacon-wrapped shrimp skewers
6:19:57 PM (Home made bacon?)

James
6:20:05 PM totally
6:20:07 PM totally!
6:20:09 PM I love those!

Will
6:20:14 PM I’ve never had

James
6:20:20 PM delish

Will
6:20:21 PM but we should get the ENORMO shrimp

James
6:20:26 PM yeah, the tiger

Will
6:20:31 PM like the shrimp that weigh 3 lbs each

James
6:20:35 PM what?

Will
6:20:38 PM and wrap each in a pound of bacon

James
6:20:39 PM talk to me
6:20:44 PM no, that doesn’t exist

Will
6:20:52 PM meh, we’ll use lobster.

We’ll keep you posted.

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